What would it be like to soften the grip?

i have two close relationships that cause difficulties for me. they can both knock me off-balance, and have many times. the last month or so i have had several opportunities to maintain healthy boundaries, but after getting this homework (well really long before then, but learning sometimes has a curve) i have been considering what it would be like to soften up. to allow their opinions and behavior to not affect me. this feels like softening my grip on my need to tightly control my environment, by trying to control how people interact with me. with my father, i feel pushed by his opinions. but what if let him have his opinions and what if i didn’t mind that his views are opposite my own? with my husband’s first wife, what if i didn’t feel attacked whenever she issues her email manifestos, what if i didn’t take it personally when she tries to change everything? what if i let my husband handle his custody issues, and i stayed out of it? i haven’t tried this yet, but there is no time like the present.

to preserve openness of heart and calmness of mind, nurture these attitudes:

kindness to those who are happy

compassion for those who are less fortunate

honor for those who embody noble qualities

equanimity to those whose actions appear to oppose your values

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